One Year

One year ago today Kim (with Rosie growing inside), my mom and I went into the doctor's office to hear the results of my biopsy and diagnosis.  Other family was there and waiting to hear the results.  A lot more family and friends were waiting anxiously for an email or phone call.  We already had a ton of support.  The doctors said what I already knew, that I had brain cancer.  They also said there was a clear plan to treat it: about a year of treatment.  That circle around the sun has passed and the light at the end of the treatment tunnel is in sight.  So far the results are looking good.

I will never forget meeting with the doctors who told me I have cancer, but what I will remember most vividly is our response to the diagnosis.  We made the conscious decision to live on our terms.  We had our first child on the way and the only way we wanted to welcome her to earth was to parents and family full of love.  Even more I realized this tumor and disease is part of me, likely forever.  I was not going to fight part of myself.  There are many aspects of the disease and treatment that have temporarily changed my lifestyle.  But it has been important for me to maintain the essence of who I am while dealing with cancer.  I believe I can love the cancer as it dies and passes on.  We intentionally set the message of love and positivity and asked our family and friends to support us with that energy, while leaving fear and hate at the door.  The response was and continues to be incredible beyond words.  Thank you.

I reflect on the past year and I am filled with gratitude.  For my most amazing and strong wife.  For the gift of our incredible daughter, Rosemary.  For family and friends.  For everyone, including people we have not met, who have sent good energy and thoughts our way.  Lastly, I am even grateful to my tumor and disease itself which has taught me about life and love in profound ways.

Half-Birthday and Cancer Update

Yesterday was 6 months since Rosie was born.  The mental and physical development is amazing to witness.  Day-to-day and week-to-week we are watching Rosie change.  Of course there are some moments when she is not happy and we wish she could just talk and tell us what she needs.  We don't know any different, but she seems to be a very happy baby.  We are so thankful for her to be in our family.

Trying to fly!

There is also an update on my health after a MRI that I had this past Monday.  The MRI shows continued stabilization and even shrinking of the tumor!  The previous MRI in February also showed an improvement in the tumor, but we were being more quiet about it to stay the course.  MRIs before February showed stability, but not improvement of the tumor.  So the news from the last two MRIs is fantastic.  We are still staying away from overconfidence.  But so far the treatment is going as planned.  From our perspective it is a huge psychological boost to see improvement after slogging through about a year of treatment so far.

Treatment has been a grind at times, but having a positive attitude and the incredible love and support from all of you has helped immensely.  I am proud that we have kept positive and continued to deal with this obstacle through love and living our lives in the fullest way.  Cancer has not changed me.  It has given me, Kim and hopefully Rosie a different perspective on life and makes us stronger as individuals and as a family.  

I see the light at the end of the treatment tunnel.  I have now completed 5 of the 6 planned chemo cycles.  The next step is to recover from Cycle 5.  Then I will complete Cycle 6, probably in June/July.  After that it should be monitoring and I will be working hard to fully recover and strengthen my body.  That is the plan moving forward.  It is the best outcome we could have asked for a year ago.  We also know to expect the unexpected and we will deal with whatever lies ahead.

Photo by: Renick Woods

Staying positive

Long time no write! Sorry for the lack of communication, all. It turns out that life gets pretty busy after you have a child.

Rosemary is now three and a half months old. She is waking up to the world - noticing more than just the face in front of hers. She is interested in everything: conversations, reflections, all sorts of toys, books, sounds. Brian and I are constantly amazed by how much she changes in such short periods of time. She keeps us on our toes. She loves and is loved by everyone she meets.

We went to Hawaii for a week in February with Marla, Ken and Ken's daughter Jen. Rosie dealt with the heat pretty well, loved the pool, and especially loved the ceiling fan. We don't have a lot of those here in Seattle. This trip was also a great break from the rain and cold in Seattle. The sun certainly has some healing properties. It was also nice to go on a multi-generational trip. We're looking forward to more of those in the future.

After returning to Seattle, Brian had his MRI and blood draw to conclude Cycle 4 of chemotherapy. For the first time, we got to see major results of the treatment: his tumor shrank from the previous MRI about 7 week ago!  To this point the routine MRIs were showing stability in tumor size and we were happy.  This result helps up feel more secure in his progress because the overall trend seems to in his MRIs is that the tumor is getting smaller. Of course, the goal here is to stabilize and continue to monitor the tumor. We will not be able to get rid of it entirely, but this was a great result to see.

Brian's blood counts were on the low end, so we anticipate starting the 5th cycle out of 6 in about a week, giving his more time to recover from his last treatment.  The 6th cycle should take us through June.  It has been quite a long haul of treatment starting all the way back to last June with radiation.

Meet Rosemary Bennett Tracy!

Kim went into labor on the due date, 11/12/15.  Somehow we were surprised because we had talked ourselves into believing Brim would be late.  Kim's minor contractions in the morning/afternoon progressed rapidly in the evening and we were in the hospital by about 11pm at night.  It was a long, sleepless night.  Kim was an absolute rock star going through labor with the help of some excellent nurses.  At 10:53 am on Friday, November 13, 2015, Rosemary Bennett Tracy was born and placed in her mother's arms.  Rosemary's eyes were wide open and, for me, to witness mother and child seeing each other for the first time was incredible.

Rosemary is named after my great Uncle Bob's late wife, Rosemary Sidur.  She was my grandma's best friend and was also my Dad's godmother.  Uncle Bob is an incredibly wise, humorous and generous man.  I do not remember meeting my Aunt Rosemary (and she may have passed before I was born), but my entire life Uncle Bob always talks about what an amazing and kind women she was.  We also absolutely love the name.

We left the hospital 24 hours after Rosemary was born.  Taking her home and welcoming her to our home was incredible (We have a roommate!).  She has already met a lot of her family and friends who have showered her with love.  There are many more of you for her to meet.  She told me she can't wait to meet you all!

We are now trying to figure this whole parenting thing out.  So far she is healthy, nursing and giving us plenty of diapers to change so we are doing something right.

We couldn't have gottten through the ups and downs of this pregnancy or the first few days of being parents without the help, support and love of so many of you.  Thank you.

[More photos to come soon.  Our friend,  Amy, took some higher non-phone photos a couple days ago and we will post some here.